Christians are straight up FREAKS
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
nutella sex= disaster
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
