Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
