Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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