The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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