that's an acceptable place to lick
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
