I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize