i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
