im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
