it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
