i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
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No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
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