i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
