He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
