i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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