im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
