I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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