So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
