Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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