You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
