my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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