I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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