I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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