Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
