I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
ttyl tear gas
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
