Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
