This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
