I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
