Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
