I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
When did angry sex become our thing?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
