vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
