we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
