pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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