Screwed.edu
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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