it wasn't lemon gatorade
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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