apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
