so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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