Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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