It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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