the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
