see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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