im about as happy as oj after his trial
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
