I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
