I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
