I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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