is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
