I wish I only lived at night.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
