Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
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