ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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