yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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