i jhust puked up my retainher.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
