the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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