I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
