Did you just see the Batmobile???
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
