i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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