I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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