I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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