I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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