I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
