I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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