My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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