They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You don't make any sense
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